There is too much to do in these jobs. What are the things you’re not able to get to that you feel are really important?
I think that idea of trying to get organized, of building the scaffolding that being super organized could provide — maybe that isn't even a true thing. I always feel like, ‘Oh God, if I had two weeks where I could just fix all my files and have a whole new system.’ There’s always that sense that I could or should be doing that. For a while, I had a job I knew I wasn't going to be in a really long time, so I just thought, ‘Well, I don't even need to worry about that. I'm just going to do the job.’ I feel like the thing with these jobs is to try to be as present as you can be. And my tendency is to worry about what I'm not doing or what the future is going to be, and I think all that stuff just gets in the way. Don't worry so much about this stuff you wish you could do.
Where do you find the most joy in your job?
I think the most enjoyable parts of the job are supporting and engaging the people who are doing good work. I suppose that becomes kind of frustrating, because as a dean, you never have any opportunity to do your own good work. I mean, there are people who come up with really great sabbatical projects who are super involved in the work of the college community and come up with really great ideas. And that's really enjoyable to me. Then that kind of encourages other people to do even more stuff.
What is the most satisfying task work?
Weirdly, I think getting the evaluation process done every semester, as crazy as it is. It's so daunting at the beginning of fall and then daunting at spring because you forgot people and there are all those adjuncts. All those pre-meetings and the mid-semester meetings and trying to make it be genuine. All those conversations. I mean, it is so daunting and it is very dense in terms of the workload of it. I just love that part where we're down to sending reminder emails to people to come in and sign their evaluation. It's kind of like getting your grades turned in as a faculty member. It's really the only thing that just goes on and on and on. I honestly don't think people even think about that when they think about deans and what they do, you know?
How do you make time and space for big picture thinking?
I think a lot of that comes from the two or three underlying problems that always exist. I think even if you have the opportunity to do big picture thinking, you're not going to necessarily solve the problem that the big picture thinking is designed for. Like, certain departments have always asked for things — over and over again. Maybe they ask for them in the budget process, and then are mad when they don’t get it. And you're like, ‘You're never gonna get it. There's no money in the budget for that. But what are some other ways we can do that thing?’ So trying to kind of figure that out. So, if somebody mentions it to me three times, maybe that becomes one of the big picture items.
What did you think the job and the role of the dean were before you got the job? And now?
I think what I didn't understand was that it's probably a little bit like being a parent in that you have to house and clothe people when you're their parent, but you don't get that each person has his or her own personality. And so you have to do the job, but you have to do it with those people in mind. You don't really figure it out until you have three different people come into your office in one day. All these people want something different in a different way and don't care about the other ones, and really just want you to fix it. And you try to fix it, and then they don't really want that, you know what I mean? I think one of the hardest things about being a dean is that, that your whole job is trying to make people happy, to make people feel OK about their jobs and get them to do what they’re supposed to do, and help and support them — but in the way that they want to be helped.
If you could start all over, what would you do differently?
I think to understand that there is no end game. I mean, the game is in the moment. There isn't a point where you're going to be organized. There isn't a point where you're going to be finished — it's just an ongoing task. So probably, from that, I would build in more times where I end it: where I turn off my phone, or I don't read my email, or I take some control of it where I can a little bit, because it won't end otherwise. It just will go on forever. And that is the job. I think people who want to do these jobs in most cases are super organized and want it to go a certain way, and it just doesn't. You're constantly like, 'Oh, if I could only get this or that done,’ and then you realize that's not going to happen. You have a hundred people who need something from you all the time. So you just do the best you can do. So there’s that. I also think I would've been more ambitious. I think, when the idea of moving beyond being a dean comes up, I tell myself I don’t want that. Or I don’t think I could do it or something. It's just like I say to faculty when they get tenure. I sort of laughingly say, 'You know, in about five years, you're going to be so burned out, so in about three years, start thinking what you're going to do next. Don't wait until you burn out because you kind of lose your momentum and you lose your personality. When you're still engaged, start thinking about what you're going to do. You have to control that because otherwise the system will run past you.
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